Living is keeping the absurd alive

yourendorphine:

homophobic participating countries who didn’t show the gay kiss on eurovision must pay a fine because eurovision must be shown from beginning to end without cutting anything out and they are banned from eurovision for the next three years

i am crying right now i love you europe

(via itsfuckingdistractingohgood)

tuucker:

irisowl:

So I walked into the dentist this morning. My dentist asked me how my weekend was. I said “Good, I watched Captain America last night. I really liked it.” And my dentist says “Oh, my son is in that movie.” At first I thought he was joking but then I realized

Dr. Robert Evans

I looked it up

My dentist is Captain America’s dad

My doctor is JK Rowling’s husband.

JK Rowling’s husband has asked me if I am sexually active.

(via meelzyeexplainsitall)

ifyoucarryonthisway:

you know if i was a young boy and my father took me into the city to see a marching band i would actually be pretty pissed if he said son when you grow up would you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned like dad im trying to enjoy this parade can we talk about this later jesus christ 

(via meelzyeexplainsitall)

Tonight I stuck my tongue out at my 10 year old cousin. In response she yelled, “Moose tongue!” and stuck out her tongue while making an antler with one of her hands next to her head. I asked, “Moose tongue?” and she just looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world and was like, “Yeah, moose tongue” and she held up the antler again. I didn’t know moose tongue. In that moment, I felt the oldest I’ve ever felt.  

rneerkat:

its against the law for certain birds to get sick. very very ill eagle

(via itsfuckingdistractingohgood)